A new realization, or at least a better formulation of an old one.

It isn’t football that I hate per se, although I’m damn sick and tired of seeing slabs of meat whose talent in moving an air-filled bag is pretty goddamn useless to humanity get all the college funding they want while arts and sciences suffer.

It’s college football fans I hate, when they congregate to take up every parking space within five cubic kilometers of the stadium and turn what should have been a half hour jaunt to the store into a two hour ordeal–not to mention all the lane restrictions and closed streets that their presence entails.

If Ohio State wants to impress me, they’ll build a huge parking garage all the way around The Shoe to keep these drunken idiots off my street (out of my parking lot, off my lawn, out of my way, etc.)

I can’t think of a stupider way to waste an afternoon than watching a bunch of guys in padded armor run over each other for several hours. Jeez, at least with golf, you can see the players’ faces!


18 comments so far

  1. ataniell93 on

    Even if they use public transport, football fans are still obnoxious; the train I have to take to work is the one whose endpoint is the SF Giants football stadium.

    The icon says it all, where my attitude toward football fans is concerned.

    • The Rev Dr Sherwood Forrester on

      I’ve never had to deal with pro football fans (yeah, like the Buckeyes aren’t treated like a pro team in everything but official designation anyway), so I dunno. Our local hockey fans are never a problem because the arena is downtown. Golf fans are a different type of fan entirely, accustomed to being polite and quiet both (excepting the “YOU DA MAN!!”/”GET IN DA HOLE!!” guy, who really needs to have a driving iron jammed down his windpipe).

      Sure, I don’t mind appreciating a sport, but I’d like to see a sense of perspective, too.

  2. filkertom on

    Roger that. I go through this bullshit every game day here in Ann Arbor. I have to have errands done by Friday afternoon and make sure I’m parked and going nowhere, or else I have to go a block and a half away. And I have been ticketed for illegally parking on my own street on a game day, in a space the cops don’t care about otherwise.

    • The Rev Dr Sherwood Forrester on

      Oh, and my Meeeee-chigan friend, you also know the agonies of The Game. It doesn’t matter if it’s home or away for either of us… both cities go batshit insane that weekend. The only difference I see is whether the area is full of happy drunks or mad drunks, depending on whether we won or lost, and the number of them, depending on whether it’s here or there.

      I better check… fuck me. The game’s here this year. Enjoy your ‘light’ year. :)

      • filkertom on

        Eurgh. The Game. My stomach clenches thinking about it. My tradition is to call for a pizza (they’re delivering to everyone else, they might as well deliver to me) and boot up an RPG — the past few years Morrowind, before that Diablo or Baldur’s Gate. This year I think I’ll restart Oblivion. :)

        • The Rev Dr Sherwood Forrester on

          If I can’t get out of town (or at least well away from the campus area), then I bunker down Friday night and don’t leave the apartment until Sunday.

          Except that’s not an option this year; I’m going to have to go out and *drive* in the thick of the drunkards that night to get to work. Yech.

          Re: pizza — been doing my own lately with fresh dough from Trader Joe’s, sauce from wherever, basil leaves and Hungarian wax peppers from my garden, and mozzarella fresca. I will never have another pizza delivered ever again. :)

          • surakofb5 on

            When is The Game? I might be able to let you crash at my place.

            • The Rev Dr Sherwood Forrester on

              November 18. And I might take you up on that, since that would reduce my drive to just scootering across the north outerbelt rather than actually trying to escape the main campus area.

  3. avon_deer on

    I live near my local Rugby Stadium. By near it I mean right on top of it.

    On a match day, you can forget parking anywhere near the stadium, or indeed outside my own home. This annoys Rusty no end. They even park up the back road, which is private. So we are thinking of starting a clamping firm. :)

    • The Rev Dr Sherwood Forrester on

      I don’t think you quite get the scale of the problem. :) “The Shoe”–the Ohio State University football stadium, is larger than the two professional football stadia in Ohio. Capacity: over 101000. The Cleveland Browns stadium is only 73000, and the Bengals stadium in Cincinnati only holds 65K. Crew Stadium, to my knowledge the largest soccer-specific stadium in the US, only holds 22500.

  4. bizarra on

    Its following us….

    last night while driving around aimlessly, we stopped at a gas station to get munchies and fill up the car….

    happened to mention we were from Columbus Ohio (it came up in the convo with the clerk) and the guy behind us chimes in “Go Buckeyes” and the dude at the ATM chimes in “Buckeyes! What’s wrong with Michigan?” We had an amusing conversation with them both, but the point is.. WE CAN”T GET AWAY FROM IT!!! LOL

    • bizarra on

      Re: Its following us….

      urg… hate that we can’t edit comments. darm extra hyphen…

      • The Rev Dr Sherwood Forrester on

        Re: Its following us….

        Buckeyes and Wolverines are forever. It’s like herpes. You can cover it up, but you can’t get rid of it. :D

    • surakofb5 on

      Re: Its following us….

      When I was sight-seeing in San Francisco a few years back, I had to show my drivers license to get in somewhere. The guy saw it was from Ohio and said, “Go Buckeys!”


  5. gmhelwig on

    So we’re planning a jaunt someplace for an upcoming weekend.

    “Can’t be during a home game” someone said.

    “Has to be during a home game weekend,” I replied, “And we should make sure to get out of town fast and stay out late too…”

    If I am able to get tickets to next week’s game, I will take the bus, or else hobble, to the Shoe.

    Otherwise, I will remain in seclusion well away from the University area.

  6. johnpalmer on

    I did once have this image of a golf/football crossover. The golfer has a certain random number of seconds to hit the ball through the uprights; if he fails, or time runs out, four large, burly men tackle him. Regardless of the results of the play, that genteel, quiet clapping always ensues.

    Okay, so it wouldn’t work as anything other than a 30 second cartoon skit, but it amuses me.

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