Time for your fa la la la-botomy.
From my cousin Kathy, xmas carols for the slightly unhinged:
- Schizophrenia – Do You Hear What I Hear?
- Multiple Personality Disorder – We Three Queens Disoriented Are
- Amnesia – I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas
- Narcissistic – Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
- Manic – Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and… (those who know my mom know who this is about…)
- Paranoid – Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
- Borderline Personality Disorder – Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
- Full Personality Disorder – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…
- Agoraphobia – I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House
- Senile Dementia – Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder – I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
- Social Anxiety Disorder – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
You know, I’d go caroling again if I was armed with these. :)