Well, s**t.

Today and tomorrow, I de-cat the apartment. Everything but the personal memorabilia’s going — I’m giving the remaining food and unused litter to a friend at work, throwing out everything else, and keeping their collars with my other family mementos.

I was actually feeling pretty good about it, and starting to cheer up a little, when I realized, while slicing cheese for my hotdogs, that I had automatically cut a piece for Random and was surprised that he wasn’t there at my feet, sitting up in anticipation.

Fuck.

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7 comments so far

  1. caindog on

    Oh man, I feel your pain. When we lost Cain it took me a week or so to stop unconsciously setting aside little bits of sandwich for him. The first time I was at my desk and Robyn walked in to find that I had laid out a neat line of 5-6 pieces of turkey and cheese next to my sandwich waiting for a certain somebody to nuzzle my knee and sit prettily waiting for his rightful share of my sandwich. I hadn’t even realized I’d done it. Heck, I hadn’t eaten a sandwich at home all by myself in like four years. (That dog had me very well trained.) It gets better. I won’t say it will be easy or soon but it will get better.

  2. rms_butterfly on

    *hugs* It’s so hard to lose a friend like that; those habits do take a while to get over. Hang in there; it does hurt less over time.

  3. janis_and_co on

    Oh, that’s hard..*hug*
    Dogs have masters…cats have staff..

  4. qthewetsprocket on

    back when barbarosa died – that racehorse that had to be put down because of his broken leg – his owner said on the news that ‘grief is the price we all pay for love’. and that really stuck with me…it sounds trite, but like a lot of trite things, it’s actually true. you loved random a lot, and for a long time; it’s going to hurt a lot for a long time. it’s emotional mathematics.

    and as i found out the hard way when my hamish died, you can’t feel it all at once, because it’d break you in half if you did. i’ve lost friends and family, but nothing rips your guts out like losing a pet.

    i hope the pain over losing him gets replaced by your happy memories of him very soon.

    btw, if you ever need a good cleansing catharsis, i’d recommend this book. use it sparingly though…it only looks fluffy and flowery. be sure to read it with plentiful tissues nearby. *hugs*

  5. avon_deer on

    I am sorry about all this. *hugs* :(

  6. gavinworld on

    For weeks after Edgar died we kept covering our water glasses with coasters, keeping an eye out for big white paws reaching for our plates, and hiding the plastic bags he so loved to chew on. Yesterday I re-noticed the toothmarks in the shower curtain from the time he’d decided that it would be fun to chew on that. Sigh.

  7. johnpalmer on

    I sympathize…

    I don’t want to think about being in your situation and realizing that I could have tuna without having to decide how much the cats get.


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